Recipe for Disaster is a multi-part quest in RuneScape, possibly the biggest yet. It is composed of eight subquests, as well as a beginning and an end, so in reality it is 10 quests in 1. The subquests range from easy to very hard. Jagex created it so that nearly any member can start it, but only the best of the best questers may finish it. This was the 100th quest to come out. As such, many parts of the quest reference the number one hundred.
The cook in Lumbridge has a surprisingly small number of ingredients to hand in his kitchen, possibly as a result of an endless stream of newcomers with light fingers taking anything that isn't nailed down from his kitchen.
Luckily, in the past a kind Cook's Assistant was willing to help him in his culinary duties, but now a problem has appeared that could spell... a Recipe For Disaster!
Almost all members may attempt to solve his tricky predicament, and be rewarded accordingly, but only the very elite of Questers will be able to put an end to his problem permanently!
The Cook will tell you that he needs a newt's eye, a Greenman's ale, a rotten tomato, and a dirty blast in order to prepare for the centennial feast. If you ask him how to make a dirty blast, he will tell you to add ashes to a Fruit Blast that you made yourself. He will also give you 100 coins to buy everything, and he will allow you to keep the change. You can buy a newts' eye from herblore shops. Greenman's ale is sold in Yanille. You can buy a rotten tomato at the Duel Arena or the Varrock pillory (select "buy from" option), or west of Seer's Village next to the cages. You can make a fruit blast at the Gnome Stronghold in the cocktail bar (Blurberry will give you a cocktail book on how to make them). Once you have all 4 items, give them to the Cook. Congratulations! Quest complete (for now...)
Enter the doors to the dining room to begin the feast. You will see many members of the Lumbridge council at the table: A Dwarf from White Wolf Mountain, Osman from Al-Kharid, the goblin generals from Goblin Village, Pirate Pete from Morytania, the Lumbridge Guide, Evil Dave from Edgeville, Skrach Uglogwee from the Feldip Hills, Sir Amik Varze from Falador, Awowogei from Ape Atoll, and the Duke himself. The Duke will get the strange box event, and will leave the room to fiddle with it. Osman will get taken away by Evil Bob. At this point, you will enter the room. Sadly a Culinaromancer (that's a food mage) will drop in and spoil your fun. Luckily, the Gypsy from Varrock will show up and freeze everyone in time (except you and her).
Subquest
After the feast, you will be able to enter and exit the dining room at will. However, it will be in a dormant state. To protect each member of the council from the Culinaromancer's spell, you must feed each of them their favourite food. The Gypsy and Cook will both be there to help you. You can complete these subquests in any order, and start as many of them at a time as you want. Each subquest gives 1 quest point and some access to the Culinaromancer's chest, as well as an additional reward, such as items or experience.
Dwarf
Details
Start point
Inspect the dwarf.
Official difficulty
Intermediate
Description
To save the dwarf, you will need a special dwarven rock cake. Only his father in the tunnel under White Wolf Mountain knows how to make one.
Length
Short
Requirements
Done Fishing Contest and the ability to kill a level 13 monster.
Go to the tunnel under White Wolf Mountain. You will see an Old Dwarf in the bar area. Talk to him. He will refuse to bake a Dwarven rock cake for you, but he'll mention the Rising Sun Inn. Go to Falador and talk to the barmaid in the Rising Sun Inn next to the west bank. Ask her about dwarves and ale she will offer to tell you the secret recipe for Asgoldian ale for the price of 200 coins. If you have the activated Ring of Charos, charm her. She will tell you to add a gold coin to an Asgarnian ale to get an Asgoldian ale. Buy four Asgarnian ales from her, then add coins as per the secret recipe. Once you have four go back to the tunnel under White Wolf Mountains and give them to Rohak, the Old Dwarf. He will agree to make you a rock cake for 100 gold. Give him your bucket of milk, egg, flour, and bowl of water then wear your gloves. You will need to cool it down before you can give it to the Dwarf back in Lumbridge. Pick it up while wearing any gloves. If you have ice gloves, you can give the cake to the dwarf immediately. If you are wearing normal gloves you will need to let the cake cool down in your bank for about a day, or you can go to Ice Mountain and kill an ice fiend. Give the cooled cake to the Dwarf to complete this subquest.
Go to the Goblin Village and talk to the generals. They will be no help, so go into the next building and climb down the ladder. You will see Mudknuckles, a goblin cook. He will tell you to get him some charcoal to finish a cooking recipe that he overheard two dwarves talking about. Give him the charcoal. He will add it to his cauldron, which will explode in a "hilarious" cutscene.
The chef claims it worked.
Miraculously, you both will survive. Mudknuckles will then tell you that you need some orange slices that aren't orange, some maggots that aren't bland, and some bread that isn't crunchy.
Orange slices - Use your knife on your orange, then use the dye on it.
Talk to the Cook in the next room. He will tell you to get ground cod, breadcrumbs, ground crab meat, and ground kelp. He will tell you that Murphy in Port Khazard will help you get the crab meat and kelp.
It's recommended that you get extra ground crab meat if you have a low Cooking level. You don't want to burn and go back to do it all over again. Luckily, you don't need any more bronze wire and hides so just get extra cod, bread, kelp, and the meat.
Get your needle and 3 bronze wire.
Go to Murphy to get your fishbowl made into a diving apparatus. Put it on, then ask to go diving. Your weight must be under 27 kilograms. Once you're underwater, find a tall plant, pick it. Then look for a crab pen to the north. Talk to Nung. He will tell you to get him 5 mudskipper hides.
Head to the entrance to the Mudskippers' cave, on the western wall of the underwater area. Pick up 5 rocks near the entrance to the cave and then enter the cave. While in the cave (and the crab pen thereafter), you will be able to wield weapons as normal as you will be standing upright. Kill 5 mudskippers (level 30 and 31) to get hides. Take them back to Nung. Give him your needle and 3 bronze wire, then enter the crab pen. Kill one to get the meat.
Climb up the chain (you may teleport from inside the crab pen if you prefer) and grind the kelp and meat to get ground kelp and ground meat.
Go back to the Cook. Use the ingredients on each other and cook it to get a fishcake. Give it to Pirate Pete in the dining room for your reward.
Talk to Wizard Traiborn on the second floor of the Wizard's Tower.
Egg
The egg quiz.
You must pass a short quiz to get your egg enchanted. He will show you an NPC that you've seen in one of the required quests, then ask you who it is. Answer correctly three times to get the egg enchanted.
Some of the people:
Man with ponytail and book - Reldo
Ghostly green woman - Velorina
Man Desert Robes white beard - Ali Morrisane
Elf - Islwyn
Man purple shirt - Unferth
Man brown vest - Professor Grongien
Woman pink top - Gertrude
Woman green witch - Hetty
Man hooded - Pirate Pete
Man with a crown - King Lathas
Milk
You will be asked a general question about RuneScape. Answer 3 correctly to get it enchanted.
Some of the questions:
Defence requirements to wear a Mystic hat - 20
Ingredients in a cake - Flour, egg, milk
Combat level of Goblins near Lumbridge - 2
GP to bribe an Al-Kharid gate guard - 10
What doesn't lie between Morytania and Asgarnia - Keep Le Faye
Gold ring is to 5 as a holy symbol is to - 16
Glass vial is to 33 as a glass orb is to - 46
Guild closest to fishing platform - Legends
Bar west of Pollnivneach - Bandit Camp
The River Salve runs from - North to South
I can hear howling in one direction and buzzing in the other—where am I? - Catherby
If I'm going to finish glass, I need - Bucket, sand, soda ash, glassblowing pipe.
Which tower is closest to the Crafting Guild - Dark Wizards' Tower
Take the number of Fire Runes required to cast Fire Strike, and multiply by the number of Air Runes used to cast Wind Strike before adding the number of Earth Runes used to cast Earth Wave - 10
Flour
You must pass a memory test. You will be shown 8 items, then must answer a question about them. Answer them to get enchanted flour. The print screen function may be helpful.
Use all 3 ingredients on the cake tin, then cook the cake and give it to the frozen guide.
A kitten, cat, wily cat, or lazy cat (you'll be catching rats, so a wily cat is best, followed by a regular one, then a kitten, then a lazy cat), many bowls of stew.
Note: you can not use a overgrown cat as they do not hunt rats
Enemies to defeat
None
Walkthrough
Go to Edgeville. The house west of the bank is Evil Dave's mother's house. Talk to her and ask her either question. Then climb down the trapdoor. You will see that Evil Dave has gotten into summoning demons as well. However, they are Hellrats, the weakest form of demon ever. Talk to him and tell him he must tell you "because the magic requires it". He'll eventually tell you that it was a perfectly spicy evil stew, like the ones his mother makes. Talk to Doris (Dave's mother) again. She will tell you that the demons stole all of the spices. With your cat, catch Hellrats (after catching 7 rats, it will turn into a hellcat or hellkitten). These serve the same purpose as a regular cat. To change them back, talk to Dorris or give it a bucket of milk. Then add the spices to your stew. Dave will eat the stew, then tell you how many spices are correct.
Note that this section alone has been known to take some players well over 30 minutes to complete, so come prepared!
Strategy
The best strategy is to have lots of stew in your inventory (10 or so is good), then catch hellrats to get spices. The goal is to put in the right amount of EACH color. So you solve the mount of each color with this method, and then put all the amounts of EACH, and that's the correct stew. Start by trying to figure out one colour at a time. Take red as an example. Add one dose of red spice to your stew, then ask Dave to eat it. If he says that one spice is right, stop. You know that you need 1 dose of red spice. If he says that no spices are right, add 2 doses to your next stew. If no spices are right, the answer is automatically 3 (because the maximum number of doses is 3). Continue this strategy until you figure out all 4 colours. You may have up to 12 doses in your stew (3 of each color), but usually its is not that many. When you run out of stew, use the canoes to travel to Lumbridge to make more.
After you figure out all 4 colours, make a perfect stew and ask Dave to taste it (don't worry, if it's right, he won't eat the whole thing). Take the perfect stew to his frozen alter ego to protect him.
To protect Skrach Uglogwee from the Culinaromancer, you need to feed him a cooked jubbly bird, the most delicious type of Chompy in the Feldip Hills. You need to talk to Rantz to learn how to get one.
Talk to Rantz. He will tell you that he wants to travel to Karamja to make some type of potion. He will tell you to meet him south-east of his cave. Go there. He will kick a tree over and ask you to make it into a boat. Use your axe on it to make a boat. He will then shoot an arrow to a tree on Karamja, then tell you to cook a chompy there for good luck. If you don't have any raw chompies, kill a chompy bird or two and gather the raw chompies before you leave.
Travel to Karamja (you can use the fairy ring southwest if you have the access, the code for Karamja is C-K-R), then follow the west coast of Tai Bwo Wannai south (head north if you used the fairy ring) until you find a tree with an arrow in it -- it should be near the Transportation icon on the minimap. Make a fire next to the tree, then use your iron spit on a chompy and cook it. If you succeed, Rantz's kids will take the boat to you and take you back.
Rantz will tell you to make a balloon toad to use as bait, to catch the Jubbly.
Fill your bellows up on the swamp, then use them on a toad.
Mine one of the rocks in the area to the west to get a "rock".
With the rock and ball of wool in your inventory, use the bellows on your [already] inflated toad to create a balloon toad.
Right-click and drop the balloon toad south of Rantz' cave or east of the gnome glider.
Now wait for the Jubbly (level 9). If it doesn't appear, you'll get your wool back. When it appears, kill it with your ogre bow. Then pluck it, take the meat, and cook it on Rantz' spit. Go back to Lumbridge Castle and then carefully right-click and use the Cooked Jubbly on Skrach Uglogwee. If you eat it, you'll have to get another one.
Killing and cooking multiple Jubblys may be beneficial in case you make a mistake. It is also advisable to toggle the "Mouse buttons" option to 1 button, so as to mitigate the risk of accidentally left-clicking and consuming your cooked Jubbly meat.
Talk to the Cook. He will tell you to mix milk and cream, then add cornflower, a vanilla pod from the Kharazi Jungle, the egg of the Evil Chicken, and the cinnamon from a ground dramen branch. Then you must flambé it using a dragon somehow. Here is how to make the brulee:
Talk to the Wise Old Man of Draynor Village. Ask about strange beasts, then ask about the Evil Chicken (If the Evil Chicken line of text does not come up, Go and talk to the cook in lumbridge about sir amik, and then head back to wise old man.) Then go to Zanaris with your Dramen staff. Bring your dragonfire shield, and whatever you think you'll need to kill a high level monster. It is level 159 if you are from level 60 - 91, level 170 if you're higher. When you're ready, use a raw chicken on the Evil Chicken statue near the entrance. Run past the Black Dragons, then kill the Evil Chicken. It fights the same as it does during a random event fight, but it's a higher level; the Evil Chicken hits frequently, but for very low damage - it shouldn't be too hard to kill. Take its egg and add it to your mix. You might also want to take the raw chicken to return to the lair.
Grind your Dramen branch into cinnamon with your pestle and mortar. Add it to your brulee.
Get out your dragonfire shield, raw chicken, dragon halberd, bow, food, potions, or anything else that you think you'll need to kill a Black Dragon. Back at the evil statue, use your raw chicken on it, then kill a Black Dragon (level 227). If you are ranging or using a halberd, there is a corridor that leads to a mine, which you can hide in and use as a safe spot. The dragon will drop a token. Escape the lair, put your ice gloves on, and rub it. K'klik will appear. Wish for it to flambé your brulee to cook it. You'll likely die if you don't wear any ice gloves.
Travel back to Lumbridge Castle and then give the brulee to Sir Amik Varze to protect him.
Go to Awowogei's palace on Ape Atoll. Make sure you've equipped one of your greegrees and your monkeyspeak amulet. He will mention three monkeys. You'll see three in the temple north of Awowogei. Talk to them. Tell them that you're planning a surprise party for the king. They will tell you to stuff the corpse of a big snake with banana slices and monkey nut paste. Use your monkey nuts and banana on them. They will tell you that these are not good enough and that you will need the sacred red banana and the tchiki monkey nuts. It is recommended to get more than 3 of each of the items in case you burn the stuffed snake!
NOTE: If you do NOT take more than two red bananas or tchiki nuts when you return to the three monkey you will have to get both items again.
Red banana
Getting the banana.
To get the red banana, wield your Gorilla greegree, as you'll need lots of strength. Then go to the west coast and find the tree. Use your rope on it to get the banana. Drop it, then get another one. Talk to the three monkeys again (they'll eat one).
Tchiki monkey nuts
Wield your Ninja greegree, then go to the south part of town. Find the agility course. Go across the obstacles until you find a hole. Go down, pick a monkey nut, drop it, pick another one, and pick up your first one. Go back to the temple via the zipline. Then give one of the nuts to the monkeys.
Snake
Cooking the snake.
Remove your greegree. Then go back to Crash Island. Find a hole, then go down to find four Big Snakes. They are level 84, hit hard, and are poisonous. Protect from melee is advised. Kill one and take the snake corpse. It might be a good idea to kill more than one in case you burn the Stuffed Snake.
Cooking the snake
After you have everything, slice the banana and grind the nut. Then stuff your snake with them. Go to Ape Atoll, put on your Zombie greegree, then go to the temple basement. Go down the stairs and look for a crack in the wall between the two bamboo stairs. Go through, walk across the hot coals with your undead feet, boost your cooking level here if needed, then cook the snake on the rock.
Head back and talk to the 3 monkeys, and then travel back to Lumbridge Castle. Carefully right-click the Stuffed Snake and use it on King Awowogei. If you eat it, you'll have to get another one.
After you finish the 8 subquests, a white portal will appear in the dining room. Enter it when you're ready to fight.
Official difficulty
Special
Description
You have protected all 8 members of the council, but your troubles with the Culinaromancer aren't over yet! He has teleported back to his own dimension, where he'll be ready to cause more trouble. You must defeat him for good! Please note that all prayer will not be allowed in the dimension. You also won't be able to go back and recover your items when you die. You can however teleport from the dimension using an ectophial should you run out of food.
When you're in the strange dimension, you'll find the Culinaromancer, a few white portals that lead back to Lumbridge, and one of your previous quest bosses. The Culinaromancer is too strong to be defeated until you've defeated the first 5 bosses. You can leave and stock up after defeating one boss without losing your place in the fight.
This is Agrith-Naar from the Shadow of the Storm quest, but he is now made of bananas and is level 146. He uses melee up close and fire blast at a distance. Kill him however you like, with food. He drops one banana.
This is Fareed from Desert Treasure. He's level 149 now. You need Ice Gloves to wield a weapon. He's harder to defeat without prayer, but you should just kill him however you like with lots of food. If you're maging, be sure to use water spells. If you're ranging, use ice arrows. You can snare him, run away, then mage him to so you only use little to no food. He drops cakes.
This is Kamil from the Desert Treasure quest. Fight her up close with a fire spell that you're well above the required level to do. Bring stat restore potions (she lowers your stats) and lots of food. A good strategy is to use fire bolt with chaos guantlets. As per usual, melee doesn't work on her very well. However, unlike in Desert Treasure, her melee attacks don't do much damage. Since her melee attacks are not very strong a good tactic is to stand right next to her so she hits you with melee which reduces how frequently she uses her ice attacks She drops a choc-ice.
This is Dessous from Desert Treasure. Melee doesn't work very well on him, but magic does. Range also works really well on him. Bring lots of food, then defeat him as quickly as possible. He drops chocolate dust.
This is the Dagannoth Mother from the Horror from the Deep quest. She can hit over 20 with melee, but she uses ranged from a distance, which is weaker. She changes colour depending on her weakness. She has a low magic defence, but high melee and ranged defence. It is best not to bother with melee or ranged and just to focus on maging. A great strategy for berserker pures is to mage her while wearing rune armour. Otherwise she will rip through Mystic and other magic robes with her ranged attacks. Your spells will still hit because of her low magic defence. She is level 130.
After you've defeated the Gelatinnoth Mother, the Culinaromancer himself will attack you. He's level 75, hits high, and has practically no defence. He uses magic, but tries to get up close to attack as well. Kill him with any attack and bring food.
When the player is informed of the universe, he exclaims, "Not the universe! That's where I keep all my stuff." This is a reference to the animated comedy series Futurama.
Originally there was yet another sub-quest to complete involving Osman, however, due to delays in this sub-quest it was not released.
The three monkeys during Awowogei's part is a reference to the three wise monkeys (さんびきのさる sanbikinosaru), who see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil.
Before the release of Grim Tales, this quest had the highest requirement, with 70 cooking.
See Below
Cooking and done Cook's Assistant
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